Today I Threw Away My Zen Garden
This might confuse you after I tell you that every night before we go to sleep Victoria and I say a mantra to each other:
“Tomorrow we’ll be calm, tomorrow we will be more patient with our children.”
Somehow during the night we seem to forget this. Perhaps we forget at about 6 o’clock in the morning, as the first light of the sun touches the sleeping earth and the halflings open their little eyes, sometimes excitedly declaring:
“Look! It’s a sunny day.”
Sometimes this is coupled with one of their small fists accidentally meeting one of our faces, stomachs, or other more sensitive parts of the body.
Even the smallest shred of light counts as a sunny day to them, so even on cloudy and rainy days they still know that the sun is up. I suppose they’re optimistic.
Oh, but fate is cruel. Occasionally, when we need to be up and out of the house early that will be the day they decided to sleep in. Mind you their sleeping in days are few and far between.
I can admit with full confidence that being the stay at home parent for a year has been challenging, but it’s also been rewarding. I will always be grateful for being able to be front row in witnessing their day to day milestones, how 2-year-old Jude has advanced in his language skills and communication, and 4-year-old Addie’s progress with problem-solving and her budding creativity.
“Tomorrow we’ll be calm, tomorrow we will be more patient with our children.”
Somehow during the night we seem to forget this. Perhaps we forget at about 6 o’clock in the morning, as the first light of the sun touches the sleeping earth and the halflings open their little eyes, sometimes excitedly declaring:
“Look! It’s a sunny day.”
Sometimes this is coupled with one of their small fists accidentally meeting one of our faces, stomachs, or other more sensitive parts of the body.
Even the smallest shred of light counts as a sunny day to them, so even on cloudy and rainy days they still know that the sun is up. I suppose they’re optimistic.
Oh, but fate is cruel. Occasionally, when we need to be up and out of the house early that will be the day they decided to sleep in. Mind you their sleeping in days are few and far between.
I can admit with full confidence that being the stay at home parent for a year has been challenging, but it’s also been rewarding. I will always be grateful for being able to be front row in witnessing their day to day milestones, how 2-year-old Jude has advanced in his language skills and communication, and 4-year-old Addie’s progress with problem-solving and her budding creativity.
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| Addie with the Meditating Buddha © Eclipse Family 2017 |
But also, being at home with them has put everything that Victoria had done as a stay at home parent before in a whole new perspective for me. It’s not easy. Not that I ever thought it, but it’s not just sitting at home all day. It’s meal planning, cleaning, scheduling activities, playing pretend, cleaning, arranging outings, calming fits, breaking up fights, and did I say cleaning?
There are many moments that make the difficult aspects of parenting worthwhile, but I believe the first key to managing the nitty-gritty is teamwork. Reminding each other that just because we’re in a mood that day our kids still need our love and attention.
When we’re getting frustrated with something trivial in scale, as most things typically are, we remind ourselves:
“Is this one of the first memories we want our children to have? Mommy and daddy getting frustrated because we wanted to play instead of getting ready?”
There are many moments that make the difficult aspects of parenting worthwhile, but I believe the first key to managing the nitty-gritty is teamwork. Reminding each other that just because we’re in a mood that day our kids still need our love and attention.
When we’re getting frustrated with something trivial in scale, as most things typically are, we remind ourselves:
“Is this one of the first memories we want our children to have? Mommy and daddy getting frustrated because we wanted to play instead of getting ready?”
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| The Zen Garden's Last Day © Eclipse Family 2017 |
Not once had that Zen Garden sitting on the bureau, collecting dust, calmed me. I haven’t meditated with it as a tool once. Mostly, I find calm in myself, in happy moments with my wife, with my children, family, friends, in nature.
The past four and a half years in parenting have been a journey for us. We’re trying to become minimalists, living more simply and organically one step at a time. Almost hand in hand with these ideals comes the need of becoming calm and patient with our children. They deserve our attention and affections, even on a day when the Jude decides to be super sassy or Addie is particularly headstrong, because after all we wanted them.
The past four and a half years in parenting have been a journey for us. We’re trying to become minimalists, living more simply and organically one step at a time. Almost hand in hand with these ideals comes the need of becoming calm and patient with our children. They deserve our attention and affections, even on a day when the Jude decides to be super sassy or Addie is particularly headstrong, because after all we wanted them.
I'll leave you with another mantra of mine:
"Life goes by fast and then you die. Relax!"
So, thanks for taking a peek into our adventure as a family. We hope you’ll come back, I'm sure there’s so much more to come.
"Life goes by fast and then you die. Relax!"
So, thanks for taking a peek into our adventure as a family. We hope you’ll come back, I'm sure there’s so much more to come.
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